St. Catharines Psychiatric help line, this is Nancy

I'm sure this is all going to sound really rediculous
and uhh... I don't exactly expect anything over all this.
uhh... over the last little while I've kept correspondance with my sanity
and uhh... I really get the feeling that, I'm starting to lose interest in the letter writing process
seems all the letters just get, you know, progressively shorter and shorter with all of the replies.
I uhh... the whole thing makes me really nervous
I just wish I could just show you what a huge problem this is.

As life hangs beside me
I gather all that I can
you were never one for confrontation
but now
it lies
all in your hands.

I kinda have this really terrible habit of asking myself all these stupid questions, right,
and like, what if uhh... there's a spot on my body that I can touch that'll stop my heart from beating.
or like what if... there's a... insane woman out there that'll come through my window and freak me out
and what if uhh... what if there's an unstoppable comet that's gonna like destroy the earth and all of us
like what if that's happening right now.
How can I avoid all these questions if I don't have that?
who's going to be by you
Who's going to be there to be irrational?
who's going to stop all this bullshit?
I keep thinking about, right now, all these awful things, and I don't believe it
Where do I have to go so it'll stop?

I'll never sleep.

Who will be there to tell me how stupid i am
Who will keep me from lashing out,
Anxiety chokes me like razor wire.