I spend my days watching TV with a beer (Oooh-aah, you're fat)
It seems to cause my ample belly to appear (Oooh-ahh, you're fat)
Then one day my woman went and left me (Did not want to sleep with a whale)
She said she found someone more manly (A body that could not fail)

So I went and I looked into the mirror (You looked like a big tub of goo)
And I dreamed of being big and strong (Dreaming was the best you could do)
I thought to myself, what would I ask for? (If someone gave you a wish)
I think I'd like to look like my idol (That great big manly dish)

I want to look like Arnold Schwartzenegger
I don't want to big fat and big (Oh no, oh no)
I want to look like Arnold Schwartzenegger
I want a manly physique

I put down the Cheetos and went and went on a crash diet (Carrots were all you ate)
Then I found my skin was turning orange (You're just a big mistake)
Then I overdosed on diet pills (Too bad you did not die)
Still I want to look like my hero (That great big beefy guy)

I want to look like Arnold Schwartzeneggar
I don't want to big fat and big (Oh no, oh no)
I want to look like Arnold Schwartzeneggar
I want a manly physique

So I got a weight set and some steroids (To make you big and strong)
And I worked out really really hard (But it did not last for long)
I put out my back and the steroids made me sterile (Not like it mattered anyway)
And as for looking like my idol (He has one thing to say)

I don't want to look like Arnold Schwartzeneggar
I don't mind being fat and big (Oh no, oh no)
I don't want to look like Arnold Schwartzeneggar
It's easier being fat and lazy

(You'll never look like Arnold Schwartzeneggar -a