Short John is my doctor, and he sho' is good to me
Yes I'm puttin' on John down, Short John's my man and he sho' is good to me
When I treat him right, I get the whole treatment for free!

He examines me carefully, takes care of my ills
Yes he examines me carefully, and he takes care of my ills
Well he checks me all over, hen he gives me the right size pills!

He said, "lay down, stretch out, and please don't look so sad"
Yes I laid down, I stretched out, and I stopped looking so sad
Cause the medicine he gave me was enough to drive most women stark ravin' mad

Now the other doctors checked me out
Cause they found nothing wrong
When Short John looked me over
I've got other ails that never shown
I cried "Doctor!", I keep singing "Doctor, I need a treatment right away
For you treat me so good, I could stand these treatments every day"

I was so tired and sick, I could hardly talk
He gave me my right size pill, I jumped up and started to walk and wail,
"Doctor, ooh doctor, another treatment right away!
Yes, you'll treat me so good, I could stand those treatments every day"
Oo-oo-oo-ooh yea