i'm here on a mission
to tell you exactly what can go wrong if you're not careful
you see, it's like this:
you're running down the staircase at random
you take one step
you take two steps
you take seven steps
ten steps
two steps
fifteen steps
nineteen steps
you're lying in a heap at the bottom of the staircase
blood, bones, powder, that sort of thing
and you're wondering, how did i get here?
and then you look up and you see
it's a man in a cowl, it's a man in a cowl
he opens his face to you
it's jimmy [tarbuck]
he is saying, "kiss the ring! kiss the ring!"
and he says, "yes, there is a santa claus
and anybody who blasphemes against santa or any of his helpers
shall die"
what do you do?
what do you do?

end the thanks to the heavenly sky
its grey is getting lighter
no peace of mind or sleep for you
you haven't earned it yet
and you won't by dusk, i bet
until you learn what futures you've destroyed
we musn't see you sulk or get annoyed

on the day i lost everything
they couldn't help enough
they shot my veins full of gelatine
i said, "thank you very much
you're too kind!"

while they lived in luxury
i made do with money, sweet money
and now i'm going to measure the rain
and you can sit and watch me -- look! look!
don't even think about not answering your phone
it might be me and i know you're always home

on the day i lost everything
they couldn't help enough
they stopped my clock and they folded my wings
i said, "thank you very much
for everything!
it means
i'm gonna
destroy you
with my slings and my bullets"

on the day i lost everything
the sky was purest white
and the clocks had stopped so i started to sing
"the magpie sleeps tonight"

on the day i lost everythi