Ladies and gentlemen
The host of phat.. uhh
Phat or Wack?
Uhh your friend and mine
Bink Chipperwink
(Applause)
Hello everybody
I'm Bink Chipperwink
And this is
Phat or Wack!
The rules are simple
Each one of our teams will play music
From their upcoming album
And the studio audience will judge by applause
Now let's meet our contestants
Team number 1 from the Southwest side of Detroit
They are Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope
The Insane Clown Posse
(Boo!)
And team number 2 from the East side of Detroit
They are Jamie Madrox and the Monoxode Child
Twiztid
(Boo!)
Now let's play Phat or Wack
Alright team number 1 first
The Insane Clown Posse, are you ready?
Yeah, yeah I'm ready Bink
We ready
What song are you gonna play for us?
Terrible, naww... umm
Fuck the world, yeah yeah
Uhh.. Bink Fuck, the World, yup
Ladies and gentlemen
This is Insane Clown Posse's "Fuck the World"
It's your turn to judge
Phat or Wack?
Fuck
Fuck that shit
Fuck give it to me
If I only could I'd set the world on fire (x3)
Say fuck the world
FUCK THE WORLD!
Fuck 'em all
FUCK 'EM ALL
Fuck you, fuck me, fuck us
Fuck Tom, fuck Mary, fuck Gus
Fuck dairies
Fuck the West coast
And fuck everybody on the East
Eat shit and die
Or fuck off atleast
Fuck pre-schoolers
Fuck rulers
Kings and queens and gold jewlers
Fuck wine coolers
Fuck chickens, fuck ducks
Everybody in your crew sucks
Punk muthafucks
Fuck critics
Fuck your review
Even if you like me, FUCK YOU!
Fuck your Mom
Fuck your Mom's Mama
Fuck the Beastie Boys and the Daili Llama
Fuck the rain forest
Fuck a Forest Gump
You probably like it in the rump
Fuck a shoe pump
Fuck the real deal
And fuck all the fakes
Fuck all 52 states, oooh
And fuck
(Buzz)
Well that sound means that your time is out
Ladies and gentlemen of the audience
If you thought was phat let's hear a round of applause
(Crickets chirp)
Ooooh I'm sorry
Well that could mean only one thing
THAT SHIT WAS WACK!
(Applause)
Ok we're gonna move right along here
Team number 2 Twiztid
Are you gentlemen ready?
Yeah we straight
Ok what's your first selection for us today?
Hey, hey man they just hoed my shit
Fuck the World was the shit
Diemuthafuckadie
Naww, uh uh
We gonna come with 2nd Hand sec, this on?
2nd Hand Smoke, yeah yeah 2nd Hand Smoke
Alright ladies and gentlemen prepare yourself
This is Twiztid's "2nd Hand Smoke"
You be the judge
Phat or Wack?
Free your mind
I represent the East side, no peace
Fuck the police
We tell you to increase the deceased at least
A grown man tellin you something that he believe
Practice to deceive, no more tricks up my sleeve
What the fuck bitch, chuck bitch
Why you talkin shit?
Better duck bitch
Before your dome get hit
This shit is Twiztid deeper than that Old French braid
Stickier than jam and jelly phased, kick it
Everybody else real talkin bout something
What you thought you heard bitch
Can it, cause your frontin
Dead wrong
Dinner table conversations
Leavin' you pistol-whipped in the corner with abrasions
Part of the contamination of Mind State
Sleep in a dream, hopin it's gone when I awake
Mama think I'm a play on play serial killa
Fruitloop biting my mind like Godzilla
We survive like catipillas in cocoons and caskets
Stretch the industry like elastic
So fantastic, like the Newport cigarette that I smoke
Hit the motherfucka till I choke
I brag and I boast about nothin'
Death, dying, and hoes fuckin'
So understand that he's saying something.
Never be heard I'm underground with the dirt and grime
Smashin heads be my reason for rhyme
I'm on time like a motherfucka
Leavin you hangin in the forest
Standin in some comfortable shifts like Chuck Norris
Check the chorus
Second hand smoke when you breath
Remember what I told you always believe
You relieve on the Monoxide Child and wild
Travel the world on nine cloud screaming loud
Free your mind
Breath it in second hand smoke
Free your mind
Breath it in second hand smoke
You phony bitches wanna shut
(Buzz)
Oh times up
Audience Phat or Wack?
Applause please
(One clap, then wind blowing)
Ohh I'm sorry
It seems that this audience also feels
THAT SHIT WAS WACK!
Personally I think they both suck
(Applause)
Ok back to contestants number 1
Uhh.. hopefully this time gentlemen
You'll come with something
A little more likable for me and the audience (They fuckin' suck)
Are you ready?
Yeah man c'mon
Yeah we ready fat bitch
What's the name of your selection?
Uhh.. hold on, hold on, uhh.. I have the bomb shit dawg
The Shaggy Show, can't fail
That's wack dawg
Aight then what?
Mufuckin Terrible..
Aight hey we want you to play uhh.. Terrible, Bink
Here it is, Insane Clown Posse's "Terrible"
Phat or Wack?
Muthafucka
You don't know shit do ya?
You wouldn't know shit if it ripped into your ugly bitch ass face
You ain't even begun to expierence drama muthafucka
Your Mama
Your muthafuckin' big fat chicken faced ass Mama
Don't even know about this drama, muthafucka
Oh my god look at that, turn it up please
Poor Nancy Kerrigan's sweet little knees
Somebody took a black thing and went thump
That's terrible, we heard about it for months
What about that one nobody guy that they found
Dead in the grass
With his dick in his ass
Unless there was more
But you won't recall
Cause Michael Jackson squeezed up on some little kids balls
What you consider DRAMA
Ain't all that
It's just that your wack
With ypur intergalactic satellite data compress
Yes, but we can't feed the homeless
And then OJ's wack story unfolded
Everybody watched that while Okalahoma exploded
900 good reasons why this world don't really care
Thats what it costs for a wheel chair!
What you know bout terrible?
Terrible, you don't know what's terrible
Terrible, what you know bout terrible?
Terrible, you don't know what's terrible
(Buzz)
There's the buzzer
Audience Phat or Wack?
THAT SHIT WAS WACK!
Ohh you guys fuckin' suck
Your momma sucks my dick
Ok we'll move back over here to team number 2
Twiztid are you ready?
Man fuck you, we ready
Do you have a song selected?
Yeah we got a song
What you wanna go with
Man it don't matter
This muthafucka (They booing everything)
Yeah that's what I'm sayin'
Rock the Dead, fuck it
Bink bitch
Bink bitch
Fuck you
This is Twiztid's "Rock the Dead"
Phat or Wack?
Wake up, float to the sky
Bring the wicked shit, and the dead will arise
Wake up, float to the sky
Bring the wicked shit, and the dead will arise
Come on
Space and beyond
Mind dumpin' in the yard
I stoled your headstone from your grave plot
Conscience and confused
Seen tomorrows dreams on tonights news
Fallin' through a hole in the sky
Will I die?
You know the time multiplied with this life, love, and lies
Steppin' in the darkness
Walkin' through my conscience
Like an android I remain heartless
Underground, and mental know me well
Bring it to the white lights of the depths of Hell
Walk through the time flux hand and hand with clear mind
Chords are harmonious like the rhythm of windchimes
Peel back the rhyme and examine the fruit
Rotten to the core buried in they best suits
Maggots crawling on they face,
Eyes sunk in they head
Throw your fuckin' arms up and rock the dead
Wake up, float to the sky
Bring the wicked shit, and the dead will arise
Wake up, float to the sky
Bring the wicked shit, and the dead will arise
Come on
Got me a mic, and now we ache like the dead
And all we wanna do is rock the dead
So many thoughts runnin' all through my head
But the only one that's clear is rock the
(Buzz)
Time's up
Ladies and gentlemen
Phat or Wack?
(Silence)
Ohh as that was some sort of surprise
This audience feels
THAT SHIT WAS WACK!
Ok we're gonna mosey back over to team number 1
The Insane Clown Posse
Fella's are you ready?
Yeah, yeah we ready
But I want uhh... everyone in the studio audience
To know y'all can suck my dick!
That's great, but uhh.. save the drama for your momma
Man I'm bout to bring the drama to your muthafuckin' chin
Punk ass bitch
I'm scared, bring it
Now this is your last chance
Do you have a selection ready?
Man fuck it
Let's hit em up with Another Love Song
Yeah they'll probably like the pussy shit
Uhh... Another Love Song bitch
Ok ladies and gentlemen
This is Insane Clown Posse's "Another Love Song"
Phat or Wack?
Yeah, I mean I hear what your sayin
I mean you got carried away in the moment
And I could forgive you.....I could do that
I could do anything if I wanted to
I could buy you a Lexus Truck with a white leather interior (I could)
I could kill off some bears and dogs and shit
Just to make you a fur coat
I could love you and treat you with class (Oh yeah)
And have babies fallin' all out your ass
Thinkin' about that
I feel I'd rather kill you
Cause I got you in my car you ain't goin no were bitch your dead
I'd rather cut that neck in half
I'd rather choke out that bitch ass
I'd rather chop and never stop
Because you fucked my homie
I'd rather cut that neck in half
I'd rather choke out that bitch ass
I'd rather chop and never stop
Because you fucked my homie
(Buzz)
Well that was a good song,(Fart) Not
Well audience you built the casket
Time to nail it shut
Phat or Wack?
THAT SHIT WAS WACK!
Well that's gonna do it for Insane Clown Posse
It's time for you guys to hit the door
Cause you're definitely wack
Man fuck you, fuck the show, fuck the audience (Ok)
All y'all can fuck off
Man fuck y'all
Yo Jeckel Brothers out May 25th juggalos
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off
Alright don't let the door hit you on the ass
We've seen it all before
People come here so eager
And leave so bitter (Hahaha)
On to team number 2
Ok Twiztid here's your last chance
Are you ready?
Man we should fuck you up
Negative muthafucka
What's the selection you're gonna play?
Uhh... we got whatthefuck?
Umm... there's a few but I'm tellin you man
There's crazy booin, crazy
I'm like it don't matter
How does it feel? Bink bitch
How does it feel?
It probably feels wack
Ladies and gentlemen
How does it feel?
Phat or Wack?
How does it feel to be you
How does it feel to feel the way you do
It's so decisive
And I don't care if you like or you hate me
I know you muthafuckas bout to underrate me
How does it feel to be you
How does it feel to feel the way you do
It's so decisive
And I don't care if you like or you hate me
I know you muthafuckas bout to underrate me
You label me a paranoid schizophrenic
Known on this planet for 2 things
Talkin shit and automatic
Mind gets transferred in little walks through the woods
Bury you alive if I could
Robin' through the hood with a body in the trunk
Unidentified because he's known as a chump
I hear him keep talking junk in my ear
But nobody else can hear
I look around and I'm feeling weird
Palms are sweaty I'm about to black out
Last chance but nothing could stop this Twiztid sprout.
I'm all about mad cussing
Fuck you and the red Martian
Peon wrecking and skull crushing
Turning bitches to dust and when I recite you folks die
Like I creep in the night, I let your soul fly
So high that I never touch ground
Make it so your bodies never found
Another Unsolved Mystery
Looking for some nobody
Every single night on TV
Try to get me to see .
My eyes closed and rolled back
Holdin a thought deep in my mind about a car jack
Another break down in the middle of the street
People just kept moving they feet
Treat me like a freak, so how am supposed to act
So when you see me muthafucka
(Buzz)
There's the buzzer
Audience how did that feel?
THAT SHIT WAS WACK!
Tell me about it
Twiztid beat it (Man you beat it)
Get the hell outta here (Naww fuck that)
We been here all day
Three strikes and your out
June 22nd fool Twiztid Mostasteless
Yeah I know, go ahead
Yeah you know, you don't know nuthin bitch
Let the door close
Ok ladies and gentlemen
We're not gonna leave you with all that wackness
So as the credits roll
We'd like you to enjoy
The all time grand champion Danny K
Now this is what real music is about
Until next time
I'm Burt Chipperwolf
And this has been Phat or Wack
Promotional consideration paid for
By Island slash Psychopathic
If for any reason you should care for or like
One of the groups that was wack
Might I suggest you go pick up one of their albums
The Insane Clown Posse uhh
Entitled the Amazing Jeckel Brothers
Which will be in stores nationwide May 25th
Or Twiztid Mostasteless
Which will be in stores nationwide June 22nd
As always we'd like to thank you for your
Participation in watching this fine television program
That's copyright 1999