Mark & Collins:
Bustelo -- Marlboro
Banana by the bunch
A box of Captain Crunch will taste so good

Collins:
And firewood

Mark:
Look -- it's Santa Claus

Collins:
Hold your applause

Roger:
Oh hi

Collins:
'Oh hi' after seven months?

Roger:
Sorry

Collins:
This boy could use some Stoli

Collins, Mark & Roger:
Oh holy night

Roger:
You struck gold at MIT?

Collins:
They expelled me for my theory of Actual Reality
Which I'll soon impart
To the couch potatoes at New York University
Still haven't left the house?

Roger:
I was waiting for you, don't you know?

Collins:
Well, tonight's the night
Come to the Life Cafe after Maureen's show

Roger:
No flow

Collins:
Gentlemen, our benefactor on this Christmas Eve
Whose charity is only matched by talent, I believe
A new member of the Alphabet City avant-garde
Angel Dumott Schunard!

(Angel sashays in. He's gorgeously done up in Santa drag, with a fan of twenty-dollar bills in each hand)

Angel:
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me

Collins:
And you should hear her beat!

Mark:
You earned this on the street?

Angel:
It was my lucky day today on Avenue A
When a lady in a limousine drove my way
She said, "Dahling -- be a dear -- haven't slept in a year
I need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear"
"This Akita-Evita just won't shut up
I believe if you play non-stop that pup
Will breathe its very last high-strung breath
I'm certain that cur will bark itself to death"
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
We agreed on a fee -- A thousand dollar guarantee
Tax-free -- and a bonus if I trim her tree
Now who could foretell that it would go so well
But sure as I am here that dog is now in doggy hell
After an hour -- Evita -- in all her glory
On the window ledge of that 23rd story
Like Thelma & Louise did when they got the blues
Swan dove into the courtyard of the Gracie Mews
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me

Then back to the street where I met my sweet
Where he was moaning and groaning on the cold concrete
The nurse took him home for some mercurochrome
And I dressed his wounds and got him back on his feet
Sing it!
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me