I'm going down the shops,
to get a life for me
I've heard they've got an offer,
buy one and get one free
They're easy to install,
or so the makers claim
And then we'll all be happy,
because we'll all end up the same

On Monday we'll go bowling, and have fish and chips for tea
On Tuesday have a quiet night in front of the TV
On Wednesday watch the football, smoke some fags and drink some tins
On Thursday night, above all else, we must put out the bins
On Friday we'll get rat-arsed as the karaoke starts
On Saturday we'll go clubbing and pull ourselves some tarts
On Sunday throw our guts up, and when we're ready then
It's back to fucking Monday and we do it all again!

It makes us very happy, we know 'cos we are told
And this is all there is to life,
till we drop dead when we're old
Don't ever try and break it,
because people think you're mad
Like I did and they hate me -
but I'm just fucking gla