I drink tequila every night for about a year
I drink it with my best friend and I chase it down with beer
But yesterday I had to quit
It changed my life (I'll tell you what)
The other day I woke up naked with my brothers wife

Arhh I love me hoedowns a good time to be had
I declare this be the best hoedown across the land
A leader a bacardi is like a chest of treasure
And when the rum is gone
The bottle in her butt for pleasure

Hello my name is Jimmy
And I've got to take a crump
It feels like an explosion down in me rump
So take some beer and whiskey
It don' mean no harm
Cause Im a little leprechuan and eat my lucky charms

I know I look pathetic
And no I dont feel fine
Im very fuckin angry
I could commit a crime
When I went to sleep last night I was same old Chris
But somehow over night I grew a perfect set of tits

I wanted a burrito but a tachos all they had
I figured they could make me one but the guy got really mad
He slapped me across my face a