Johnny bought a ticket for a 4:00 train
Spilled wine on his shirt and left a big red stain
Was a third world country, there were only two lanes
Left his lover waiting in the pouring rain.

Wasn't any law and there wasn't any order
Couldn't find a pay phone that didn't take quarters
Couldn't find a way to cross the God Damn border
Woulda snuck under the fence if he was just a little shorter.

CHORUS:
If you're gonna leave then you better move quickly
If you're gonna stay won't you whisper in my hear
Heart is beatin' fast and I'm feelin' kinda sickly
Gotta find a way to get the hell outta here.

Tried to find an embassy to plead his cause
He was lost like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz
Was a dictator talkin' gettin' lots of applause
Had a big white beard like Santa Claus.

Put some drugs in his pocket, it was all blackmail
Took away his passport and threw him in jail
Tried to call his parents but to no avail
Couldn't find anybody to pay his bail.

CHORUS:
If you're gonna leave then you better move quickly
If you're gonna stay won't you whisper in my ear
Heart is beatin' fast and I'm feelin' kinda sickly
Gotta find a way to get the hell outta here.

There was a warden in the jail that was so sadistic
He ruled the prison with force, he was militaristic
He made soup out of prisoners, he was cannibalistic
Johnny knew that if he stayed it would be fatalistic.

The warden summoned Johnny to his quarters at night
He took him to the kitchen and he bound him up tight
Johnny knew where he was headed he knew his plight
They thumped in the head and then they sai