climbin' up your wall
hopin' i don't fall
looking for a bite
in the middle of the night
and if it's late you'll say
come back another day
spinnin' up your web
in the place you call your bed

'cause your Spiderboy is here
looking for a cheer
stumbling down the hall
on bad, bad, bad, alcohol
your spiderboy can talk
but he can barely walk
whiskey on his breath
always cheatin' death, death, death
spiderboy, spiderboy

you can call the spider cops
they'll come with spider mops
and little spider 'cuffs
and spider dogs going ruff, ruff, ruff

but gimme one more chance
for the web inside your pants
i promise i'll be good
like a spider only could

'cause your Spiderboy is here
looking for a cheer
stumbling down the hall
on bad, bad, bad, alcohol
your spiderboy can talk
but he can barely walk
whiskey on his breath
always cheatin' death, death, death
spiderboy, spiderboy

spiderboy, who stole your eggs?
spiderboy, spindly old legs

we could drive your spider car
really, really far
we'll drink some spider wine
and on insects we will dine

we'll hold up in your bed
until we're old and dead
and on the news at eleven
they'll say we went to spider heaven

'cause your Spiderboy is here
looking for a cheer
stumbling down the hall
on bad, bad, bad, alcohol
your spiderboy can talk
but he can barely walk
whiskey on his breath
always cheatin' death, death, death
spiderboy, spiderboy

climbin' up your wall
hopin' i don't fall